Any women or couples out there

Added: Shyam Cunniff - Date: 12.09.2021 06:47 - Views: 49995 - Clicks: 2351

Simon Duncan does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. For many couples, moving in together ifies a big step in the relationship.

Any women or couples out there

Traditionally, this meant marriage, although nowadays most cohabit before getting married, or splitting up. But there is a third choice: living apart together. Not only is it surprisingly commonbut living apart together is increasingly seen as a new and better way for modern couples to live.

Living apart together supposedly gives people all the advantages of autonomy — doing what you want in your own space, maintaining preexisting local arrangements and friendships — as well as the pleasures of intimacy with a partner. But our research shows a darker motivation — people can end up living apart because they feel anxious, vulnerable, even fearful about living with a partner. And, despite living apart together, women still often continue to perform traditional roles.

Any women or couples out there

While some who live apart have long distance relationships, most live near one another, even in the same street, and are together much of the time. Nearly all are in constant contact through text, Facebook, Facetime and other messaging platforms. And virtually all expect monogamous fidelity.

Any women or couples out there

Surveys show three different types of couples who live apart together. Then there are the couples who do actually want to live together but are prevented from doing so.

Any women or couples out there

Sometimes family opposition, for example to a partner of a different religion, is just too intense. These are mostly older people who have been married or cohabited before. It is this group that are supposed to use living apart to create new and better way of living.

Any women or couples out there

Often they had been deeply hurt in cohabiting relationships, financially as well as emotionally. Some women experienced abuse. It was living apart that maintained this wall.

Any women or couples out there

Current partners could also be a problem. Living apart together was the solution. She also felt her partner looked down on her as intellectually inferior.

Any women or couples out there

Some men found the very idea of living with women threatening. Given these fears, worries and aversions, why do these people stay with their partners at all? The answer is a desire for love and intimacy. As Wendy said:. For some people, then, choosing to live apart is not about finding a new or better form of intimacy.

Rather living apart is a reaction to vulnerability, anxiety, even fear — it offers protection. Be Curious — Leeds, Leeds. Edition: Available editions United Kingdom. Simon DuncanUniversity of Bradford.

Any women or couples out there

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