Archie Bunker Quotes...."Sayings:"

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease.

Holier than thy.

A man's bar is his castle.

My sediments exactly.

East is East and West is West, but none of us is gonna meet Mark Twain (special thanks to Bob for that one).

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs.

Look at you, you're white as a goat (special thanks to Dina). 

In a pig's dye.

One man's goose is another man's dander.

Like ships that clash in the night.

Like two sheeps that pass in the night.

Just 'cause "there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof!"

I got bigger fish to fly.

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? (pig sty)

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns.

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs.

He goes through groceries like an earth remover.

Executioner of a will.

It's waddya call, wash your hands (one hand washes the other).

Up there in his ivory shower.

Like a bull into a china closet.

It ain't German to the conversation.

We're gonna strike before the Ivan gets hot.

When the whole neighborhood turns into a smelting pot.

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs.

Birth patrol pills.

I ain't in no mood to play 120 questions.

What you need is somebody new....there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile.

In the lap of the cards.

Excitement to riot.

Wild hornets couldn't drag me there

Like erl & gasoline, they don't mix.

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish.

No taxation without regimentation.

Mike: Tom Farrell paid you to keep quiet! Archie: Ain't ya never heard "silence is gold?"

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious.

Grab the bull by the corns.

You're a chimp off the old block.

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road.

I'm gonna keep a beagle-eye on you the whole weekend.

Hangin' around her neck like an albacore.

Ifso fatso

Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom).

No, I think that was when Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence. Ya know, "Fourscore and 7 years ago."

New mother...they get a sense of waddya call, "the maternals."

Do you Edith....take Archie Bunker to be your lawfully bedded husband?

Get the hanging dog expression off your face.

I just don't want you to do nothing on the sperm of the moment.

Use a little of your horse's sense.

Like the old adverb "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth."

We're just sweeping dirty dishes under the rug.

Something's rotten in the state of Denver.

What'd ya think, you were gonna pull the wolf over my eyes?

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine.

You painted us into a corner, then you threw away the key.

And that's the crutch of the situation.

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest.

As the French used to say "the peace of resistance."

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness.

Up the creek without a saddle.

In the words of Harry S Truman: "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook."

There's an old saying: "Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus."

They said he had neurosis of the liver.

Up the creek in a boat with a hole.

Don't be hollerin' at him, will ya, you'll give him a mental sterosis.

What ya eat ain't got nuttin' to do with how old ya are. That all depends on your ancestors. It's what they call a matter of heresy.

She's loaded with this, waddya call, women's intermission (also used father's).

Your face is a household word.

I'm a man. Men have got another thing....they got waddya call, a carnival instinct.

One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples.

Early in the morning when the crows cock.

"You can't squeeze blood out of a tulip."

Maybe my mind chewed off more than the mind should bite.

Expensive care (true, but intensive).

In New York...fags...that's what ya call an ungendered species.

All your friends are gonna be green with envious.

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health.

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice.

"Let fightin' dogs lie."

Whoever sent 'em wants to remain unanimous.

These cigars are the nectarines of the gods.

Hanging around my neck like an albacross.

It ain't exactly the Pope diamond.

If that ain't "the Black calling the kettle pot!"

"The bad penny ain't pickin' up no more rollin' moss."

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips?

Position is nine-tenths of the law.

A pigment of your imagination.

That's "the straw that broke the camel's neck!"

That's the thing that broke the straw.

Don't be accusing me of taking a bribe. You know what they call that, "definition of character."

Ever hear of the old saying "grass don't grow on a busy street?"

Wouldn't let 'em get in a word wedgewise.

He wants his son to follow in his footprints.

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child.

Ya better keep a civilian tongue in your head.

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime.

Too long they've been gettin' the short end of the totem pole.

Welfare incipients.

That one kind of grapes on my nerves.

Candlestine romance.

It's too late Edith, my bus has sailed.

Well, as they say "que seray seray."