Archie Bunker Quotes on Religion!

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible.

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable.

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass.

The hookeries and massageries...the whole world is turning into a regular Sodom and Glaucamorra.

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic.

Beat your tambourines with the Hairy Knishes.

1st daughter of Generous.

Mother Superiority

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on.

All of those unflocked priests.

You, a man of the cloth, hidin' behind your hassock.

Santa's Guh-nomes.

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation.

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian -- or Christ, for short.

Until they split off into all them other denumerations.

That's what Abel was saying when he got it in the back from his own brother with a cane.

Wearing a Yamaha (Yarmulke).

The Dago on the Yarmulke (Yamaha).

Book Of Ecclesiasticles.

Off-the-docks Jews

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her.

Like the Good Book says "Patience is a virgin."

This is a Jewish cake! They give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed.

The story of Noah and the whale.

Samson...he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines.

The whole conjugation was asleep.

Some Catlick priest sprinkling incest over everyone.

Like the Good Book says: "Let him who is without sin be the rolling stone."

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous.

The ancient Egyptian kings, the fairy-ohs.

You'll be turned into a pillow of salt.

Raise him a Luferan if you want, raise him a Norman with 7 wives, a holy roller, a Seventh Day Adventurer.....

Sayin' grace.....it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace.

The devil and all his nimps.

Fires and grimstones of hell.

Don't ya know it's bad luck to keep icrons in a Christian home?

People are scared that the departed soul might be hoovering around some place.

The lord descend down a thundervolt.

You'd think I was Lazarus rising from the bed.

Honor thy parents. That's one of the Lord's Top 10 Commandments. That's right around covetin' your neighbor's cattles and wives and there.

(talking about Noah's Ark) I think the family was from Hungaria.

The word is psalm, S-O-M.